March 9, 2008 was a very sad day for my family. Due to a horrible circumstance, a wonderful person passed out of our lives while here on earth. My family lost someone very dear to all of us. I made mention of this in a previous post and it is here that I would like to say how much we will miss our dear, sweet, quietly strong, Aunt Shirley. A woman of few words, in my lifetime, but her presence was known just by her being. She was a true lady who would never give her age even if asked. She would just smile and nod and perhaps change the subject, as a lady should. A lot of the time she could say without words, what most of us cannot speak out loud. At her Eulogy, her Minister spoke of the many gracious ways our Aunt lived her life. Having many (a dozen or more, including greats and great-greats) Nieces and Nephews made their own lack of children seem unimportant. People do not have children of their own for many reasons and my Aunt & Uncle's reasons are unimportant to me because they always were the most loving and kind people and I felt all the more special to them because of it.
From what I know of their history together, they met over 60 years ago while working for the same company in the same office. My Uncle Jim asked my Aunt Shirley out several times before she would eventually give him her number. They of course, courted (dated to you and me) and after marrying, my Aunt and Uncle moved in with her parents to save for a home of their own. As I grew up, they have remained in that same home together making a wonderful life for themselves. They were completely devoted to each other and were still holding hands and romantic stuff like that to the end. The nurses caring for my Aunt Shirley were even overcome with tears at the eminent moments before her passing remarking how much my Aunt and Uncle cared for each other, how devoted my Uncle was to my Aunt and one could tell that they were still so much in love after all the years together. I can only hope to find that kind of caring, loving, devoted person someday to spend the remainder of my life with. They still had spats, Uncle Jim remarked that Aunt Shirley would get after him some mornings when he ate breakfast before taking certain medications that needed to be taken on an empty stomach or how during Sunday church services my Aunt might elbow my Uncle in the ribs if he began to doze off and snore a little.
These are just parts of life we all share and I can tell you I am deeply grateful for having had them on my side and a part of my life. The life lessons they gave me by example have taught me much. I guess these things come with age but I did not recognize these lessons until recently. The life lessons I have gotten just by observing my family has made me who I am today. I can now see that when people are surrounded by things that are other than ideal and that is all they have to exemplify...I can see where they can get into trouble. This is not to say that even the most loving and educated people cannot turn out serial killers but I truly believe that where there is love, respect and if you lead others by your good example then you have done something so great that its value is immeasurable. This is how I feel my Aunt and Uncle have influenced my own life. I am reminded of a recent song I heard on the radio by Brad Paisley Titled: "Letters to Me." It is about when he gets older and wants to write letters back in time to himself. Some of the lyrics are as follows:
"If I could write a letter to me and send it back in time to myself at 17
First I'd prove it's me by saying look under your bed
There's a Skoal can and a Playboy no one else would know you hid
And then I'd say I know it's tough when you break up after seven months
And yeah, I know you really liked her, and it just don't seem fair
All I can say is pain like that is fast, and it's rare.
Chorus:
And oh, you got so much going for you, going right
But I know at 17, it's hard to see past Friday night
She wasn't right for you
And still you feel like there's a knife sticking out of your back
And you're wondering if you'll survive*but*
You'll make it through this and you'll see
You're still around to write this letter to me.
At the stop sign at Tomlinson and Eighth
Always stop completely Don't just tap your brakes
And when you get a date with Bridgett
Make sure the tank is full On second thought forget it
That one turns out kinda cool
Each and every time you have a fight
Just assume you're wrong and dad is right
And you should really thank Mrs. Brinkman
She spent so much extra time
It's like *she sees* the diamond underneath
And she's polishing you 'til you shine.
Chorus:
And oh, you got so much going for you, going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
Tonight's the bonfire rally but you're staying home instead
Because if you fail algebra, mom and dad will kill you dead *but*
Trust me you'll squeak by and get a C
And you're still around to write this letter to me.
You've got so much *up* ahead
You'll make new friends, you should see your kids and wife
And I'd end by saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life.
I guess I'll see you in the mirror
When you're a grown man
P.S. go hug Aunt Rita every chance you can."
I liked this song it made me aware of how many things are really good in my life and although I made some bad decisions in my youth, things turned out OK. I think it best to hug anyone you hold dear and let them know they are cared about by you whether you really do or not because deep down you even cared about someone you really implied you didn't, that's just human nature. There may come a time when its too late to let them know anymore one way or the other...That is how I feel about all my friends and family especially, my Aunt Shirley and Uncle Jim. Thanks Aunt Shirley, I Love You and will Miss You for now...until we meet again someday!
